last

im tired and i miss ilyas.. haih. tmrw or in a few mins will be the last day of 2008. im praying and wishing for a better year, so help me God.

x

haih

its happening again. having to see you leave meeeee... gaaahh i miss you already. take care love

loved

ilyas is hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee in KL town!! gaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh im so happy sia. i got what i wanted for christmaaaaasss.. love youuuuuuu =))))) weeeeeeeee.. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! xo

xmas dinner

had dinner with my lovesss so yeah and it was fun. so these are some of the pictures were taken. and last night Mi's party was fun too. talk more later. shittt lazzzyyyy right now. im so tireedd.. im off to bed.

"hold me gently while i fall asleep into your arms."

xx

tmrw is my driving test for the second time. hopefully i'll pass this time. insyaAllah. i really need it so muccchhhh.. heh.

crushed

i've been at home, alot now. im too lazy to go out now. haihh. i havent showered the whole day so sorry for the smell yea. LOL. nways since i failed my course, now im searching for the right course to do, if not i might end up doing the same thing tho. haihhh.. it sucked that my dream is now delayed, okay fine i know it is my fault. but gaaahhhh... now im stuck here for another year. damn it. well im gonna make sure that this time ill succeed and make sure ill get to fulfill my dream! for extra credits maybe i should succeed with flying colours.. =)

on monday i have amiras birthday partyyy.. yeeaayy a party! hahaha.. half of me feels like partying and half of me is just soooo laaazzzyyy. but whatever it is i still have to go ah. she will kill me if i cant make it. haha. might be performing for her party. so hopefully i dont screw up ah. sorry Mi i couldnt get the cake i wanted for you. oh well im sure ur party will be awesome!

last night i was so so sooo lameeee.. i wrote ilyas a letter hehe. 3 pages sia.
i dont know what else to say ah now. so talk more later.
chiow. x

something doesnt feel right.

=(

i miss you so much right now

Darling, I need you desperately, desperately here

I'll find a way, a way, a way to see you again

<3

new

cant wait for a new year. new beginning, new chapter. a fresh clean start for me. i can still have my dream to come true. i've got to work even harder than before.

current mood: depress, sad, lonely, disappointed, quiet, lost.

x

failed

i failed everything. i suck. fuck sia. i've no words to say now. i guess i've failed my dad.

Mi's bday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TUNKU AMIRA ZAHRA. MY GREATEST AND LONGEST AND AWESOME BESTFRIEND FOR LIFE MAN!!! HEHE LOVE YOU FOREVER SKINNY BITCHHH...

later

im tired, i dont have the mood to blog right now. buttt ill summarize things that happened and going to happen. Mi's prom was great, my date alissa looks gorgeous. got free drinks. i got my hair done today with Mi and her mum. tmrw going janda baik. i have 5 hours of driving on sunday and driving test on mondaaayyy.. and i miss ilyass like crazy crazzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyy... so yeah. ill spill other details when im in the mood yeah.

xo

kinda excited lol

yooooooooooooooooooooo.. tmrw is amira's prom. woohhhooo and my date is jeng jeng jeng my beautiful cousin, alissa. yeay! ilyas dont worryy.. weeeee =D and and im hoping for fun tmrw, like SERIOUSLY. i need fun... hopefully we'll be going drinkinggg.. wuhhhuuuu... lets go mabuk mabuk... haha we're gonna stay over at the hotel but sadly alissa cant join us, grrr.. so yeaaahhh.. talk to you the day after tmrw bloggieeeee.. love you ilyaasssss.. hehehehhehehehehhee....

night flowers. x

im bored and im alone at home. gaaaaaaaaaaahhhh fucking take me out sia... btw i feel lonely, damn i miss you. heh..

cibai motherfucker

fuckyou you fucking horny bastard with your stupid fucking ugly maggi fucking hair. fuuuuckyoouuuuu calling me bodoh and babi. you fucking perverted motherfucker. gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh, im fucking pissed now. fuckfuckfuckfuckkkk youuuuuuuuuuuuuu laaa cibaiiii.. thank you God cause he's gonna leave this country soon. get the fuck out of this country you freaking ugly blonde fucker. you aint getting any from me suddenly you just fucking pissed, dream on you motherfucker i aint giving you la you bastard. im no fucking whore to just simply fuck youuuu, reality check la idiot.. you want to fuck go find some fucking prostitutes kaaayyyyyy... and pukimak kauuu laaaaaaaaaaa..... grrrr....

yes yes i know there's a lot of fuck in it but im just gaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh fucking mad sial. he says bad names to me in malay and i cant seem to reply him back in any malay bad words. hahahaha. cibai

flowers

sooooo here are the two not very nice painting i made. hahahahaha..

he likes sunflower. tapi macam tak jadi jee.. haha

and i like white lily. weeeeee

shit bored

im shit bored sial. gaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh, kill me already. woke up like at arnd 1pm or so.. then ate lunch and watched entourage, at the same time was texting ilyas. i just love to include ilyas in my daily activities, it makes me feel better you know.. then nway i did like two paintings. haha something made me feel like painting and i did haha. 2 flowers.. its not that good anyway. i just love doing it sometimes. i like to think while i paint, lol. will show it later. btw actually i suck with art. haha then my cousins came, to pick up clothes. it was nice seeing them. got gossip girls episodes from my cousin, wuhhuu thank youuu kak lyn! after they left, i just cleaned up some clothes in my room and watched a bit tv. then i finally finish watching garden state. its actually a movie. hahaha everytime i wanna watch it i got sleepy so i always watch it half way. i cant even recall whether i've actually seen the whole thing even once. i cant freaking remember sia. *spending alot of times with ilyas made me say the word sia alot nowadays. hahaha.. and then im here, now blogging about what a shitty day i had. did i mention i purposely put a green paint on my kitten's head. hehe sorry it was for fun. will wipe it off the next time im gonna give you a bath you little brat. and i havent showered the whole daaayyyy... was freaking shit lazy. so yeah. ill take a shower tomorrow since tomorrow gotta go for raya prayers. i might skip it, somehow. damn lazyyyy.. hope not many people gonna come tomorrow. too lazy to entertain anyone. hopefully nobody comes la, easier. hehh... and again im shittttt borrreeedddd laaaaa...

oh and last night i slept like at arnd 5am plus was reading a walk to remember again haha. finished it and made me cry. gaaaahhhh romance.. nways it was beautifully written. what a marvelous job he had done. hehh...

goddddddddd... i wanna see him. gaahhhh...

you know you love me, xoxo. haha

chiow bitches.

just sayingg

gently take my hand as we walk in our garden
lying down together on the grass as our heart beats
our heart beat created a rhythm
and i called the rhythm our love story

i want to paint our love red and orange
as it is among the brightest colors
i want to plant sunflowers and lilies
therefore when it bloom our love shall bloom together.

im lameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.... hahahaha. i like youuuuuuuu allootttttttt.. =)=)))))))

sushi

what a boring saturday i had. woke up at around 10am and what expcting nasi lemak from mum but she only got me my favourite kuih. so i was being all spoilt, she gave me money and i bought myself breakfast. roti planta. (thanks to Mi, she introduced it to me) haha. then i just watched friends on starworld. was texting ilyas at the same time. then went onlineee, chat with ilyas and watched my blueberry nights again... good movie.. then i switched place to online because abang azri wants to use the computer so went down and used abg hafiz's computer. soo i watch entourage... and at the same time chat with ilyas abit. hehe... then abg hafiz came i have to use the laptop. haha... then i took a nap, i dreamnt about sushi.. and about keyna also.. i miss you babe! after i woke up i quickly called daddy cause suddenly i was craving for sushi... sooo we went sushi king for dinner.. damn it, it was good.. still got the walfer ice cream in the freezer. will eat you later. haha.. and now im in my room blogging about my uninteresting daayyyy... oh oh during the day mum and fauza went to aunty su's stuff and took some clothes there, actually kinda alot. hahaha. got some nice tops, so i took some. hahaha. i need a bigger closet. gaaaahhh clothesss....

gaaahh i miss you shorty. although you're taller now, still gonna call you shorty cause thats how i remember you. hehe

“A part of you has grown in me. And so you see, it's you and me together forever and never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart.”

out of words

fell asleep after so much tears. woke up with fugly eyes. haha. oh well story of my life right. had a really nice time with you for the past three days. sure as hell im gonna miss you every fucking day. your hands we're nice to be held. God i miss you so much right now. =( i didnt feel like waking up today but gaahh i had to later mum will go all bitchy to me and shit, so yeah. i practically didnt do anything much today. tv eat oth online and got so bored went to alissa's place and just lepak there, eat goreng pisang haha. dont really know what to say right now, im out of words sial. goddd im so bored and at the same time im just shit lazy. oh and ilyas all the songs in my myspace profile i dedicate it all to you. was kinda emo just now. heh. i dont feel like going out because some stupid fuck yesterday wanted to taste my ice cream, freaking cibai. "Mi kinda forget about me at that moment" =) haha. after that happen i just threw my ice cream in the bin. idiot, i felt so disgusted. i think i need some drinks, to clear this empty space. but im not plannng to get drunk tho. just a few drinks. haihh...

im currently recycling my book, soooo im reading a walk to remember again. that reminds me i need more nice movies to downloadddd... any recommendations? and i wanna download 90210 since i always missed it. gaahh.. i might gonna disappear for a while but i'll be blogging for sure laaaa..... i need to get a job, i need to pay back my debts to amira. rm300 nowww.. gaaahhhh...

falling for you was the last thing i wish to happen, but shit it wasnt the last thing that happened. the last thing that happened was seeing you leave, making me cry to sleep. i wish i could fly, therefore i could just fly to you everytime we need each other. just dont say goodbye, i hate goodbyes. make me believe that i will see you again. when i close my eyes i see you, but thats not what i want. i want to see you everytime i open my eyes. i might just fall the next time i see you, so be ready catch me when i fall. i need you to hold me tight and tell me that i will always have you. kiss me and tell me that you care for me. i dont believe in forever but if takes forever to be with you i'll wait for you forever.

"how does love change a person?
continuesly, foolishly, endlessly... "

sweetdreams dreamers, xo.

gift

like i said i'll upload the pics of the present i made for ilyas, jeng jeng jeng. and this was my christmas present to him.. i only painted black, gahahaha and i painted the word i miss you.. which i do, so much right now. hope you really like it lah. weeeee... all i want for christmas is still youu and i will definitely be the happiest freak in the whole entire world. haha. i just love christmas. the movies, the songs, makes me happy hehe. cant wait for christmas dinner with Mi and Alissa!

held

had an evening with you.

love

=)

triple

had a triple date. hahha Me Ilyas, Mi Talib, Alissa Aiman. had a good time. we watched twilight and ate at tgi fridays. haha. what a funny day lah. i got to see ilyaaaassss.. finally!! miss you like crazy. kinda lazy to add other infos so yeah. later later la kay..

i want the time to stop forever so you dont have to go. =(

hidden kitty

baby so cuteeeeeee.. weeeeeee.... love youuuu fatty spoil lazy ass baby cat. gaaahhh im just sooo geram! sh's freeeaaaakkiiinnggggggggg adorable....

wtv

woke up at about 1pm today. slept at 3am last night or should i say morning. haha. was chatting with ilyas abit before i went to bed. if he were leaving here, i call him already. the only thing i can do is just text him or talk to him online. ngeh. so sad haha. oh well. today i thought i would just laze around at home but then Kak Sha came over with the nephew and mother in law and she brought a freaking cute KITTEN! gaaahhh it was damn adorable! damnit but it was a female, i need male cat to take of the house. my 2 female cats cant really take care of it. again the kitten was just too adorableeeeeee... nways then we went to pavilion for a movie. the movie i wanted to watch, yeay me! haha it was 'selamat pagi cinta'. it was good, it made me cry hahaha. im sucker for romance movie. lol. then i got home, i had to finish up my christmas present for ilyas. =) well it took me 2 hours to finish it. its nothing big actually haha.. ill show a picture of it after i gave him la. hehe..

im so lazy but actually im a bit annoyed with my room right now, its freaking messy! but im not doing anything about it haha i know its my fault. gaaahhh damn lazy la! maybe tmrw ill finally clean it up cause its just too messy! tmrw is Mi's last day of spm! yeay you! lol good luck with bloody accounts darling! love you and i shall see you real soon!

"If the only place where I could see you was in my dreams, I'd sleep forever." -Anonymous

kay la, night night flowers, x.

are you one in a million?

hahahaha. im not. LOL went for the freaking audition didnt put any hopes so went there for fun you know, i was just trying. i didnt get in. haha oh well God has better plans for me. =) plus it singing wasnt my no. dream so its aight! but today haiya damn bloody tiring man. wat a LOOONNNGGG daaayyy. reached times square like at 8.50am then waited like 5 hours just to REGISTER! then waited like extra 4 hours or 5?? then only my turn to shine. hahahah i guess i wasnt so bright la. thanks Alissa and Fauza for companying me. apparently my ex schoolmate also was there so he joined us. met new friends, but only for today ah. she was nice. actually im abit tired and lazy to tell the whole thing, cause it wasnt really anything. hahaha. oh oh and jen was there! with her ex-husband. kinda cute also lah. hehe and her friend who went for the audition also cute but too young. padahal he's only 16 and im like what 17. haha lame. i know. well after all this shit tiring day alissa's family picked us up and we all went for dinner at great eastern mall. yeeeaaaahhhhh, im fully, sleepy and tired.

nways i dont know why but i really miss ilyas right now. gaaahhhhh.... cant wait to see you! 2 days moreeeeee..... wooohhhhooooo....... =)))

"don't drink and drive you might spill your beer"

xx flowers

vacation update.

should i blog about my trip to singapore? yes. haha took me a while to blog about it ey? got damn tired man. nways daddy drove till johor and left our car at mums friends house. she drove us to the taxi stand then we took a cab to singapore. haha sounds complicated? not really. nway we stayed at a budget hotel cause the hotel we wanted was fully booked. gah. so yeah it was fragrance hotel selegie. i didnt know how to pronouce the word selegie, it took me a while haha. our first night we went to night safari. it was cool la seeing all the animals and shit. but the fact that its at night and it was dark. wasnt scared about the animals attacking me that much, was scared about seeing things that i dont want to see. hahaha. luckily, i see nothing i dont want to see. haha. the fire dance show was damn cun weyy..

the next day we went to sentosa island. we ride the cable car and walked around ah. tiring tiring. the beach was beautiful la. we went back to the hotel then rest for a while then got ready. i met ilyas =) at the little india MRT. my parents and sister waited with me also. before that my dad was like 'so your friend you wanna see is a boy?' and i was like 'yeah. i mention the word 'he' so many times'. and he was like 'i didnt know'. then he said go back early and shit la. haha. then when ilyas arrived, i thought daddy was gonna give him a straight face. but instead there was a smile on his face haha, daddy ask ilyas about arab street and place to eat. ngehh.. *my sister told me that my dad said to my mum "yeah she can go out with this boy" he said it when he saw ilyas. haha. so ilyas and i went to clarke quay and walked all the way to raffles place. and we had our dinner, he paid for me. weee thankyouuu... then we walked and lepak at city hall. we drank abit, cause he brought a bottle of vodka. thanks. haha. but at that time i couldnt really drink that much so i kinda drank damn slow ah. then joachim came. we went to bugis street and teman him makan. then we just lepak there the whole night. joachim job is cool wey. haha. then after our little night out they both walked me back to my hotel. *i was about to say home. haha. didnt want to leave them actually. hahah so saaaddd. i hugged them more than once. as for ilyas i didnt wanna let go if it was possible but i had to. =(( after two years of not seeing ilyas, he grew taller! my boy is all grown up. haha.

then our last day me. my parents and sis just walked around the city. we walked alot. hahaha. suprisingly i didnt shop at all. well basically for me the point of my trip there was to see ilyas. haha. and he was definitely the highlight of my trip la. on our way back from johor to kl, it rained all the way man.

idk lah

it may take a while for me to blog by trip im damn tired and lazy. shit laa. nways i made up my mind. sorry tracee and jen! i was freaking excited like shit about penang but im not going. ill make it up to you guyss!! we go karaoke or lepak or something. when i can drive i can go anywhere haha. im truly am sorry. i didnt know that ill develop this certain feelings. apparently i dont care about my money cause all i want is to see him. if not ill go craazzzyyy. so yeah, lets pray to go benedict can find me a replacement lah. at the same time i feel bad la. nways i just really wanna see you lah. miss you, love you. =)

ill do anything just to see you even for a second.
cant wait to see you. =))))

ill talk even more when im not tired or lazy kay kay. night night dreamers.
xx

distance

im back from my so called vacation. i had a blast but im dead tired. sadly i cant sleep right now. ill blog about my trip tmrw or something.

.all i want for christmas is you.
imissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyou imissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyou imissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyouimissyou imissyouimissyouimissyouimissyou.........................

i felt like crying again, i cried otw back home. =(

catch me before i fall, hug me nowwww.......

"Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear." -John Lennon

prom pictures. =))

with tracee, looking gorgeous.
with jen, very hot.
us with benjamin, our waiter. haha
my date, brian. apparently he just coloured his hair the day before lol.
carmen, ping, jen and tracee. Az takdeee.. =(
with vasanth. handsome handsome. hehe

and jeng jeng jeng.. with DayShine. very very cuteeee and hot. weeee

shallin, marieann, benedict, carmen, brian, me, benjamin, jen, yi an, tracee, ping and danu.

picture of the night, candid! hahaha! its actually quite nice LOL.

there are actually more pictures but trace didnt upload all yet at fb. hehe. thanks tracee. =)

As we go on

We remember

All the times we

Had together

And as our lives change

Come whatever

We will still be

Friends Forever

Graduation - Vitamin C.

**im gonna miss you guys so much, i swear to god! you guys were so much fun.

romance.

one tree hill episode 11 had just touched my heart. it made me cry. haha ohmygod im sucker for romance.

i might have fallen for the dancer but i know nothing about the dancer. then again the dancer is reserved. what should i do? the dancefloor connected us. i felt the chemistry. or maybe its just me.

haha, im such a loser. lol. now i feel like drinking and drinkingggg...

im in a search for the romance. kiss me again and tell me that it wasnt nothing.

p.s im still sick and its bloody annoying!

continue

i finished reading my eleven minutes by paulo coelho already. that man ah i tell you, damn good author kay. how can he write about sex and make it damn intimate shit and made it like as if its something very very passionate. it was amazingly done. splendid! i love it! now i need new books to read to kill my precious time since college is over already! and gotta download more movies to watch. now have to get more popcorns, yeay! currently downloading 'casablanca' it was said that its the best romance movie ever, so i haveeee to and must watch it la! saturday today is my resting day, gotta relax before my singapore vacation with my parents and lil sis. kay i gotta stop now haha, blog i miss you! hehe and Mi i miss youuu! cepat la habis ur spm tuu.. i wanna go karaoke and go shopping with you and lets get wastedddd... haha love you babe.

x

highlight.

here is my prom update. haha it wasnt all that but it was okay. handsome boy Dayshine was there. haha took pictures with him, show later cause pictures all with tracee. nways food was heh not so nice, our table was nice and my date was brian haha. prom was nice cause my favourite classmates are there. got ready with the girls. they all look great. hehe and the boys too. the prom was huge wey compared to my school prom. there was like wat 800 plus people? lol. after prom went to euphoria and apparently have to check id and yeah im underage. haha so sad but i did get it cause thanks to carmen i used her id and now her ic number is stuck in my head. i owe u big la carmen hehe if not i wouldnt be having fun. euphoria wasnt as nice at i thought it would be but the dancefloor vibrates! damnit damn nice wey. az didnt go for prom but she joined us at euphoria with rus. then i had some beer, 2 shoots and a martini only, apparently i have low tolerence of alcohol hahah got kinda drunk. idiot me. had so much fun dancing. too much fun actually hehe. wanted to dance with Dayshine but he was dancing with some girl so i didnt want to be rude and just grab him but in the inside i was like damn it i wanna dance with him haha. then me not being sober went to a guy who actually caught my eye during prom cause he was performing salsa on stage! hehe he's cute lol. so i decided to grab him and dance with him hahaha. told him i was abit drunk and then he asked me where my friend was and i showed him and he wanted to go take me to them. then i said just dance with me cause thats what i wanted to do. he got damn good moves kay. was damn attracted eventho i was abit drunk. apparently i can keep up with him. haha i was dancing my ass off cause i was having so much fun dancing. wuuhhhuuu.. *im in clubbing mood currently. hahaha.. i slept smiling. LOL the next day had breakfast at waffleworld with the girls and the boys joined us too. then went back home. did i mention the hotel room was awesome! nice bed and a lot of mirrors and the shower damn cool kay.

today went shopping with tracee and jen at sungei wang. *i've been spending money, i seriously have to stop man. it was nice. then at night had keyna's suprise birthday party at hard rock. love you like crazy babe! tmrw she's turning 18! hehe thanks to her parents for paying lol. it was fun eventho i was sick!!! aaahh annoyed with the flu and sore throat wey. got to see my schoolmates, miss you guys. ohmygod guess wat. i was smoking with haziq at the bar cause at the dinner table cant smoke then some old indian guy hit on me. haha wtf he offered to buy me a drink i was like no thankyou. haha. after all the chillling and shit. was waiting for diyanna's boyf's friend and some other indian guy go ask the boyf whether he can buy diyanna. hahahahaahahahaha! fucker we are so not prostitutes! idiot! it was funny he was like how much how much? go find prostitutes somewhere else la idiot.

well i guess since after my stupid accounts paper i've been having fun so it was great. did i mention the guy who i dance with his name is Ian. he seems to be interesting. =) but he has a gf? gaahh. *depress already. hahahahaha before i knew about it, the night after prom and shit i was bloody happy haha i was so excited. told Mi everything! and Az also. according to tracee and lee jen "syaza cant stop smiling and she's glowing wey" hahaha. watever guysss.. hehe

benedict and benjamin plans to go to penang on the 2nd i can go yeay hope its gonna happen ah me and tracee is really excited about it hehe. i need vacation! oh this sunday singapore here i come! i can see my shorty ilyas, dude it has been two years and i hope u grow taller! hahaha.

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy." -Thich Nhat Hanh

guess thats all. sorry if got typo and shit, lazy too correct it. night night flowers.
xx

sicksicksick

IM ANNOYED!!! im sick. sore throat and flu. can it get any worse? yes! my leg also is killing. gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.. kill me already! apparently alot of ppl are also sick haha.

yo

its has been 9 days i havent blogged. got lazy and the internet got some shitty problem. FINALS ARE FUCKING OVER MAN!!! and prom was last night. haha. i have alot to say. but now im abit lazy haha. Accounting paper sucks btw. nways talk more later ah will update about my awesome awesome night soon! weeeee.. im happy wey! hahaha.

I LOVE THE DANCEFLOOR!

x

3inthemorning

now is 3.16am and im not asleep yet. apparently i plan not to sleep cause papers starts at 7am im afraid that i wouldnt wake up so i dont want to take the risk la kan. i mean its my favourite subject's paper! its ECONOMICS exam in 4 hours. im hoping for the best right now like seriously you know. then a week from now its ACCOUNTING paper. that i have to pass if not ill fail my course. gaaahhh... annoyed lah. right now im trying my best to fill in econs knowledge in my brain as much as i could. haha. oh and i was a bit proud of myself just now cause after so long i read the Quran. oh God so long i have read the Quran, my pronounciation sucks. i drank 2 nescafe already and yeah it doesnt work on me, im still abit sleepy. haha now im taking a break from studying again. so im writing this post and watching kim possible. aaahh kim possible is nice wey. can mak me laugh like a stupid kid.

just now i watched 'The Kite Runner'. i was inspired by the movie. really really nice la the movie. you people should watch it. its a movie base on book which i cant remember who the author is so find out yourself haha.

now im back tomy kim possible so talk more later. and hopefully i can do my econs paper later. and GOOD FREAKING LUCK TO THE SPM CANDIDATES!! p.s SPM sucks hahaha. and i hope i get to see walter tmrw. hehe.... =))

take care amigos! xo

gahh

im so impatient about finals to finish wey! i wanna go have lots and lots and lots of fun! im bored right now at home, the fact that i have to go study lagi la, lazy man! but sometimes its worth the wait la kan. so now i have to wait je laaaa... bosaaaannnn... kill me alreadyy..

a great time will come for a great moment to party like hell!

xo

where?

i cant seem to find my glasses. gaahh wth is it la. dan annoyed alreadyy... had LEGALS STUDIES just now. i hope it was okay i mean what i did for the paper, can pass laa.. haihh. another two more papers to go but gotta wait like 11 days la. one week one paper. GAH! nways according to vasanth who i added in facebook out of boredom says that DayShine is going to prom! both of them la. but i can see DayShine in formal attire, mama mia! i cant wait for that. Not just that la but seeing all the college boys in formal attire, yeaaahh maann.. my eyes will be clear as crystal! hahaha. nways, i havent watch my OTH episode 9, i finish download already but cant use the comp, damn cibai kay. i mean now im using the laptop la. ohmyfreakingGod i just found my glasses which is here in my brothers room in the table drawer. hahaha bodoh, letak merata rata lagi. yeay can take off my bloody contacts already. just now i was at a state of depression felt like going for a happy hour somewhere in kl. but i didnt instead i just smoke ciggies to make me happy which it did work in a way cause i added some dancing into the moment of making myself happy. hahah i know what an idiot. such a lame ass person. (shutup Mi) nways i should stop smoking. i stopped before like i dont know 2 , 3 months maybe. well i can but u know im just mengada. whats mengada in english la. malas nak amik dictionary. somehow today felt so so sooo tired maybe cause i woke up at 2am and until now i didnt sleep. haih nvm..

OH OH my kitty cat 'Cik Yah' is back at home sleeping somewhere in the house. apparently she was at my neighbour's place but then my neighbour didnt know it was our cat cause nobody have actually seen her before so yeah. they took care of her and even bathe her! aaahh such a spoil cat just like my baby Cik Lat. she is way spoilt than Cik Yah ofcourse. she's my baby so i spoil her like mad la. im so happy she put on weight i know its not like she was damn skinny last time. i like fat ass cats dohh. they are just fucking cun kay. FAT and FIERCE. muka damn sombongg.. expensive cat u know. but fat ass must have nice fur la. haha. now my baby Lalat is way way waaaayyyyyyy cuterrrr.... gggrrrrr... hahaha

kay ah im BORED wey! im trying to figure out something better to do besides studying cause i wanna relax for a while but then im annoyed i cant watch my OTH! =( i wanna cry okay. eeeeee... my brothers are annoyingggg.. *forgive me if there's any errror, lazy to check ah.

here is the quote of the day.
"Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye." -H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Later flowers, x.

diamonds.

i wanna dance around and have fun. aarrghh exams! hahaha thats what on my status update in facebook. Right now is like 5.10AM and im awake yes i am! and im ready to go cause i showered already and i got everything on! including my accessories hahahaha. i just need to study alittle bit and eat something besides the bananas i ate just now. today's paper LEGAL STUDIES. nooooooooo............. well gotta face it anyway. after today 2 more papers to go but it will take like a week plus to get it over with, gah cibai. i cant wait to go singapore to see mr shorty! ILYAS! i miss you man, it have been 2 years since i last see you, well last time was EVEN LONGER. its okay the time will come. sadly you gonna move further away from malaysia, this time i have to take a flight. daymn, thats gonna cost some serious cash. takpe pray to God maybe i have a good job and ofcourse lots of money so i can buy a lot of stuff (too lazy to elaborate the stuff i want) hehe. oh oh yesterday i followe mum to bangsar village II to see Habib Jewels showcase, the theme was Out of Africa. it was cool dohh. saw the africans dance. they're studying here la so they were in proper clothes instead of you know wearing some piece of clothes just to cover their privates, heck like they even care to cover it. huhuh, no offence. and God the jewelleries all so beautiful! but there were this one right that caught my eye, and yeahh mum bought it and i know she's wearing it now, and most ppl envy it. *i got good eyes. hahah i can wear it too for special occasion ofcourse. soon it will be mine, hehehe. DIAMONDS ARE A GIRLS BESTFRIEND!. nways im talking cock, i got to study alittle bit more now.. so I wish myself all the best, LOL LAME. and Mi shut up i know im lame, and you know you love me, xoxo gossip girl. hahaha...

talk more later peeps, xx.

SHOESSSS...

i cant stand looking at shoes... omg because Ping, Az and Jen they thought me about online shopping! but i havent purchased anything yet la. its just damn tempting ah. and go here and look at those shoes maaannn.. i can go crazy wey!!! shoes craaazzzyyyyy...

http://dirtystiletto.blogspot.com/

Quote of the day. its damn funny. from some movie i dont know. hahah

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Well, who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well, I'm the only one here. Who the f--k do you think you're talkin' to?"

shingggg.....

so im here in the web at college waiting for Az to finish her maths paper! cause mine ROSAK already. so screw it la, i left one hour early and now im here. gaaahhh. it rained this morning so its coooccoolddd....

nways there's this cute guy in college looks malay but he's not. and his name is jeng jeng jeng.. DayShine.. oh Day Shine you shine my day.. hhahhahahha.. im sorryy!!! you are really cute but ur name is just funny. i apologise again. *Mi i bet if you read this you'll laugh and try and make jokes out of it! hahha.. but seriously he's tall and skinny and cute... haaaaaa... *drools. LOL as you know i like em tall and skinny. =D this morning when i reach college his car is just behind mine, and we got out of the car the same time. so i can say it now, you Shine my Day but it was early morning and raining ah. haha. sorry you who i actually have never talk to before.

Nways where the hell is Az i wanna get out of here and eatt... gaaaaaaaaaahhhh....

3 more papers to go! dang!
talk more later. chiow. x

black house, lol

Congratulations to Barack Obama for winning the President election. im not so politic-ish but does the white house have to painted black now? since you know its always been white presidents. haha. All the best to you Mr Obama.

Nways today is BORING! have to my formula sheets for maths tmrw. paper starts at 7 freaking AM! GAH! and i still have my ciggies. haha my god gila wasted kay my money. REGRET!! nyeh.

chiow

smoking

i dont really know why i smoke. i like it but hate it at the same time. after so long of not smoking (not that long ah) haha then i bought a pack of ciggies and guess what gahh i hate it. maybe i should have bough lights or menthol lights. haha. nevermind i wasted my money already. i have to admit i actually do think smoking is cool, hahah and i smoke to kill the freaking time. heh. nway, i renewed my L licence today and damnt it i had to pay rm40 thank god i had enough money. and i became a translator for this one lady who work there to translate to some guy who cant speak malay and she cant speak english. haha. and again wasted my day with sleeping the whole evening. MATHS and LEGALS paper is coming, shit im so dead! well i just cant wait to get it over with so i can waste my day every freaking daaayyy and go holiday! holiday!

Later yo, xx.

walternize. hahaha

today English As Second Language paper DONE!!!!!!!!! i saw walter todayy.. =) wahh youu make melt la cheenese. dont knw why you looked good today. haha and damnit i bought a pack of dunhill red 14. haha.. gotta finish it if not its a waste of moneyh!. i asked brian to be my date for prom. so he's my date for prom. yeay! im not dateless. haha. although i really wish walter would be my date, you sexy thang. lol

im so walternize! HAHA

talk more later. x

wasted sunday

so today is my last day before my finals starts which oh God tmrw!! haha. well i wasted my dad as always. i watched a japanese drama and dude there were full of guys. and they are adorable dowhh.. but not so pretty like the japanese guys that Mi likes. gahaha ;P but these guys sure caught my attention haha. so basically i wasted my day watching 8tv. and 8tv during the day only play chinese tv shows man. haha. have anyone seen my cat? my kitten is MIA!!!! is been 2 days already, my god. where the hell are you.. i really hope u'r doing okay baby. apparently we changed CJ's name to cik yah because she's damn noisyy.. i gotta admit that i didnt really study. damnit lah. i dont know la. gaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh wateverr...

its really nice to know that you still care and still do love me. =)) love you always silly. and im sorry like i really am sorry.

i need a drink or two or more. i wanna get drunk. period!
kill me already!

went

so i actually went to Mi's place just now. haha my brothers came back like at 10.30pm. had a good time, got the chance to see everyone so yeah. and then i saw you, yes you were there. i have things i want to say but i dont know how to. i might be giving up but i dont know yet. i feel like piercing my ears nowwww... im in pain and i need an actual pain to make it go away. like it will la. but i dont know, i want it. gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. i wanna talk to you. but i dont know how to. but actually i dont want to accept the fact that i know that it might not gonna happen, nothing is going to happen. i dont want to believe it but i know it. God, humans have brains like crap ahh. maybe i should be like cats, all they do is eat, sleep and wait and wait... they dont mind waiting. i've been there before. or maybe i should accept it that i deserved to be treated that way. i mean dude KARMA. What goes around comes around.

btw i got my book already, ELEVEN MINUTES. im actually enjoying it. Good book. and the movie PENELOPE. AWESOME SHIT WEY!!!! and one tree hill is getting better and better.

GAAHHH

im annoyed. im here at home waiting for a miracle. hoping that my brothers to come back and say okay lets go to mira's hse. but then noooo.... im like some ugly tree waiting to be cut down. im actually ready and oh god i have my makeup on. so right now im just waitinggggg.. i wanna gooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Mi im sorry if i cant make it. im damn annoyed! gaaaahhhhh......

taktau

watched mama mia! again yesterday with mum. God its an awesome movie i tell you. did i mention i watched highschool musical 3 last week. damn Gooooddddd movie! i think ill go watch it again lahh.. and the songs are nice too. finals starts in 3 freaking days and i got my ic already. now i have to go make my L license since i lost it also. haiya.

we humans always make mistakes and sometimes we learnt from it sometimes we dont. humans are a stubborn creature. i didnt say what i really wanted to say, i felt like it was best to say the things that i think is better for us. i see very little effort i guess u dont really want it after all so i didnt say what my heart really felt. you kissed me and then nothing happen so yeahh. dude you made me melt and i was in cloud nine. but hey i guess i deserved to be treated like that for leaving you in the first place so i dont blame you. after all i was the bitch in this situation, and i truly am sorry. i do love you and thats for sure. if we cant be together is okay just show me that you still do care is good enough already. i miss you silly.

"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." - Khalil Gibran

collegemates.

my girls man!. Az and Jen

my favourite boy, Brian. he's cute. :D

Eugene, Danusha, Brian, Yi An, Heng Leong, Benjamin and Tracee.

My classmate and im not in it! gaaahhhh... im gonna miss them!
My skinny friend! Ping! hahaha, babe we rock. haha :P

I swear to god im so so soooo gonna miss them! they rocks and its nice surrounded by chinese.. hahahaha! and im gonna miss looking at Walter too. haha. Love you guys dohh. Especially AZ, PING, TRACEE, JEN, KAJAN, CARMEN! =) Mwaahh Mwaahh and hugs to you guys! hehe

"Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing." -Elie Wiesel.

Finals Time table, grr.

3rd Nov - English as Second Language

6th Nov - Mathematical Studies

7th Nov - Legal Studies

11th Nov - Economics

18th Nov - Accounting Studies

dududuu...

ohmygod last night i drove Min's Gen2, damn i tell you. gila sedap dohh the car. i feel so hot driving it too! hahahah! awesome awesome, shit la i better get my driving license too so i can drive any car i want and anywhere i want, legally! hahaha. and Alissa take me go-karting during your holidays or something! weeee... i havent really been studying. God i been a bad girl. ahaha.. i should start studying like REALLY! 3rd november is next week!!!!! aaaaaaaaaa...... then when its over all i can think of is prom and partaaayyy..!! cepat la habis SAM for me and SPM for Mi. babe i miss youuuu!!! and we gotta go dress shopping for your prom and did you tell alissa about ur prom?!?!?! haha make sure she's going also.. recently i watched HSM 3, yeah man! it was good stuff la. but the part when troy and chad starting singing and dancing together make me laugh and they looked abit gay tho. hahhaha. but they're hot so its okay. tmrw im out with hilmi so i wanna watch some good movie la. then i shall go and stuuuddddddddddyyyy.....

Later yo! im out going for deepavali at some person's hse. haha good day!

Quote of the day! =)
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched ... but are felt in the heart." -Helen Keller

books

oh oh!! im done with The Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho.
I want Eleven Minutes or Brida by Paulo Coelho.!!!!!!!!!!

movieyhhh

Done.
1. The Air I Breathe.
2. Quid Pro Quo.
3. Becoming Jane.

Not Yet.
1. Kinsey.
2. No Country For old Men.
3. Manhattan.


Finals in 1 week and a half. gaaaaaahh!!!!.... STUDDDDDYYYYYYY....
in 3 weeks plus, it will be over..!!!!!!!

im taking my time to make a move. =) cant wait for HSM 3, lol.

Sometimes affection is a shy flower that takes time to blossom. -Becoming Jane.

x

x

STUDYINGGGGGGGGG...

FOR BLOODY FINALS!!!!!!!!

GONNA MISS YOU BLOGGIE!!

MWAAAHHH..

*MY RESULTS SUCKS BTW, TRYING NOT TO FLUNK MY COURSE. HAH!

ngeh

moot court went well. i won the case. and God i was a joker. everything that came out from my mouth are all the stupid words. oh well everyone enjoyed it so its cool.

MYOB for accounting is done and God i had it.

Saw jenan yesterday. weeee.. and i saw rainbow too!! aaaahhhh...

well watever happens happen la. and i gotta admit im in love with chinese guys weyyy. haha

cant wait for finals to be over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 weeks of classes, 1 week holiday and then 3 finals!!!!!!!!!!!! then PROM! hell yeah!

sorry havent update my blog in a while, lazy ah. lol.

you know you love me, xoxo. LOL

SHOCKING

My new kitten we just found out is a SHE!!!!! ahahhahahaaa... all this while we thought its a boy.

IM ANNOYED AD ANNOYED AND IRRITATED AND JUST PLAIN GAAAAHHHH!!!! WATTHEFUCKINGFUCKISTHEBLOODYBITCH'S PROBLEM AH. FUCKING GAY AH!

hope my part for moot court would go fine. InsyaAllah.

finals in 2 FUCKING WEEKS!

xx

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.......
how the hell am i gonna be a defence lawyer laaa. adoi.
i hope i can do it. ah this shit is freaking me out wey! and i need that 5 marks!

im gonna write a book. im gonna start soon after i finish my finals. when im free from college. its gonna start from jenan, my silly. then its gonna end somewhere. my first reader will be Tunku Amira Zahra. hihi. i hope ill keep my words and do it. ill pray for it and make it happen.

therapy

had breakfast with hesmond. thank you for holding my hand. after that he had to go meet his friends and i went for my stress therapy. which is shopping. went sungei wang , wanted to buy that shoe but i didnt see it at the shop. then i decided to go spoil myself with buying new clothes. i went alone but Mi was there in spirit. haha. it was a good ME time. =)

tmrw back to college which i hate. gaahh.
xx

three

keyna, syafiq and i.

i'll be yours ears if you need to talk. you've been my ears, so im here for you

ALISSA

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALISSA! LOVE YOU BABE.

inside

something is missing, something is missing, something is missing. what the hell is missing? everything felt so wrong. everything! broke 2 glasses in 3 days. im okay but im not okay. i dont know. im just dead inside, im not interested on doing anything right now. NOTHING! watched KAMI the movie with hesmond. it made me cry and made me miss someone. but no he doesnt miss me. its just wrong. i dont know. i suck i suck. i have no idea whats in my head. raya is fun but tiring. i think it should stop now, no more raya. im too tired and sick. too many things happening and i can go crazy. i want the time to stop now. i dont want to go back to college. i want it to stop i want to rest. i need it. i wanna cry. i need a good cry. i dont feel so good. everything is just messy. are things worth waiting for? are you worth waiting for? im used to it but im tired of it. in the end you felt like it was worthless it wasnt worth waiting for. its just crap. i gotta stop this, i have to. im not interested. today felt like a mistake maybe because i felt something is missing but it was a good day. but it wasnt all that. no no no no no. omg, too much in my head. i cant get it out. i dont know how to. i dont know. i wanna run away but i know i cant. nothing can help me. i dont want ciggies nor alcohol. maybe i should pray. pray to God and tell Him im sorry. i was stupid and immature. its a messed up world full of messed up humans. The Beatles said Let it be but its easy said than done. action speaks louder than words. sometimes you know you cant get it but you still hope for it and have some faith to it and you still try. you're just too stubborn to believe that you cant get it. your heart said you cant but your head is making you do it. in the end you end up hurting yourself. why? because im stupid. i wanna give up, but i cant. im gonna try. nothing else can stop me except myself. i wanna die i think its much more peaceful. nothing can bother me. but only God can kill me. He knows when im gonna die. so here it is a messy life of a teenage girl. dont know whats going on in my own head and dont know what my heart wants. everything is just wrong and messed up. i dont know what to do or say. stay away from me.i do know but i dont want to believe it. its just wrong. i should stop. make it go away! right now! yeah i smile and i laugh but behing all that there's a hole. something is missing, something is missing. it should stop and go away. far far far away. i stopped smoking, i dont want it anymore. go away. i need everything to go away right now. get out please. im begging you. dont come near me, stay away.

raya photos

okay i have no idea how to spell his name, i know how to pronounce only. hesmond? haha
us being us
im rocking my raya. lol
with mummy.
siblings with the maid. weeee
alissa early birthday cake. i baked it with mum.
with pearly and billy.

family pictures timeeee..

me feeding alissa. haha
with my good looking cousin, mirul. lol.
with my baby cat. cik lat. you're so cuteeeeee..

pictures are not in order btw. haha.

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude." -Denis Waitley.

xo