GAAHHH

im annoyed. im here at home waiting for a miracle. hoping that my brothers to come back and say okay lets go to mira's hse. but then noooo.... im like some ugly tree waiting to be cut down. im actually ready and oh god i have my makeup on. so right now im just waitinggggg.. i wanna gooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and Mi im sorry if i cant make it. im damn annoyed! gaaaahhhhh......

taktau

watched mama mia! again yesterday with mum. God its an awesome movie i tell you. did i mention i watched highschool musical 3 last week. damn Gooooddddd movie! i think ill go watch it again lahh.. and the songs are nice too. finals starts in 3 freaking days and i got my ic already. now i have to go make my L license since i lost it also. haiya.

we humans always make mistakes and sometimes we learnt from it sometimes we dont. humans are a stubborn creature. i didnt say what i really wanted to say, i felt like it was best to say the things that i think is better for us. i see very little effort i guess u dont really want it after all so i didnt say what my heart really felt. you kissed me and then nothing happen so yeahh. dude you made me melt and i was in cloud nine. but hey i guess i deserved to be treated like that for leaving you in the first place so i dont blame you. after all i was the bitch in this situation, and i truly am sorry. i do love you and thats for sure. if we cant be together is okay just show me that you still do care is good enough already. i miss you silly.

"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were." - Khalil Gibran

collegemates.

my girls man!. Az and Jen

my favourite boy, Brian. he's cute. :D

Eugene, Danusha, Brian, Yi An, Heng Leong, Benjamin and Tracee.

My classmate and im not in it! gaaahhhh... im gonna miss them!
My skinny friend! Ping! hahaha, babe we rock. haha :P

I swear to god im so so soooo gonna miss them! they rocks and its nice surrounded by chinese.. hahahaha! and im gonna miss looking at Walter too. haha. Love you guys dohh. Especially AZ, PING, TRACEE, JEN, KAJAN, CARMEN! =) Mwaahh Mwaahh and hugs to you guys! hehe

"Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing." -Elie Wiesel.

Finals Time table, grr.

3rd Nov - English as Second Language

6th Nov - Mathematical Studies

7th Nov - Legal Studies

11th Nov - Economics

18th Nov - Accounting Studies

dududuu...

ohmygod last night i drove Min's Gen2, damn i tell you. gila sedap dohh the car. i feel so hot driving it too! hahahah! awesome awesome, shit la i better get my driving license too so i can drive any car i want and anywhere i want, legally! hahaha. and Alissa take me go-karting during your holidays or something! weeee... i havent really been studying. God i been a bad girl. ahaha.. i should start studying like REALLY! 3rd november is next week!!!!! aaaaaaaaaa...... then when its over all i can think of is prom and partaaayyy..!! cepat la habis SAM for me and SPM for Mi. babe i miss youuuu!!! and we gotta go dress shopping for your prom and did you tell alissa about ur prom?!?!?! haha make sure she's going also.. recently i watched HSM 3, yeah man! it was good stuff la. but the part when troy and chad starting singing and dancing together make me laugh and they looked abit gay tho. hahhaha. but they're hot so its okay. tmrw im out with hilmi so i wanna watch some good movie la. then i shall go and stuuuddddddddddyyyy.....

Later yo! im out going for deepavali at some person's hse. haha good day!

Quote of the day! =)
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched ... but are felt in the heart." -Helen Keller

books

oh oh!! im done with The Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho.
I want Eleven Minutes or Brida by Paulo Coelho.!!!!!!!!!!

movieyhhh

Done.
1. The Air I Breathe.
2. Quid Pro Quo.
3. Becoming Jane.

Not Yet.
1. Kinsey.
2. No Country For old Men.
3. Manhattan.


Finals in 1 week and a half. gaaaaaahh!!!!.... STUDDDDDYYYYYYY....
in 3 weeks plus, it will be over..!!!!!!!

im taking my time to make a move. =) cant wait for HSM 3, lol.

Sometimes affection is a shy flower that takes time to blossom. -Becoming Jane.

x

x

STUDYINGGGGGGGGG...

FOR BLOODY FINALS!!!!!!!!

GONNA MISS YOU BLOGGIE!!

MWAAAHHH..

*MY RESULTS SUCKS BTW, TRYING NOT TO FLUNK MY COURSE. HAH!

ngeh

moot court went well. i won the case. and God i was a joker. everything that came out from my mouth are all the stupid words. oh well everyone enjoyed it so its cool.

MYOB for accounting is done and God i had it.

Saw jenan yesterday. weeee.. and i saw rainbow too!! aaaahhhh...

well watever happens happen la. and i gotta admit im in love with chinese guys weyyy. haha

cant wait for finals to be over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 weeks of classes, 1 week holiday and then 3 finals!!!!!!!!!!!! then PROM! hell yeah!

sorry havent update my blog in a while, lazy ah. lol.

you know you love me, xoxo. LOL

SHOCKING

My new kitten we just found out is a SHE!!!!! ahahhahahaaa... all this while we thought its a boy.

IM ANNOYED AD ANNOYED AND IRRITATED AND JUST PLAIN GAAAAHHHH!!!! WATTHEFUCKINGFUCKISTHEBLOODYBITCH'S PROBLEM AH. FUCKING GAY AH!

hope my part for moot court would go fine. InsyaAllah.

finals in 2 FUCKING WEEKS!

xx

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.......
how the hell am i gonna be a defence lawyer laaa. adoi.
i hope i can do it. ah this shit is freaking me out wey! and i need that 5 marks!

im gonna write a book. im gonna start soon after i finish my finals. when im free from college. its gonna start from jenan, my silly. then its gonna end somewhere. my first reader will be Tunku Amira Zahra. hihi. i hope ill keep my words and do it. ill pray for it and make it happen.

therapy

had breakfast with hesmond. thank you for holding my hand. after that he had to go meet his friends and i went for my stress therapy. which is shopping. went sungei wang , wanted to buy that shoe but i didnt see it at the shop. then i decided to go spoil myself with buying new clothes. i went alone but Mi was there in spirit. haha. it was a good ME time. =)

tmrw back to college which i hate. gaahh.
xx

three

keyna, syafiq and i.

i'll be yours ears if you need to talk. you've been my ears, so im here for you

ALISSA

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALISSA! LOVE YOU BABE.

inside

something is missing, something is missing, something is missing. what the hell is missing? everything felt so wrong. everything! broke 2 glasses in 3 days. im okay but im not okay. i dont know. im just dead inside, im not interested on doing anything right now. NOTHING! watched KAMI the movie with hesmond. it made me cry and made me miss someone. but no he doesnt miss me. its just wrong. i dont know. i suck i suck. i have no idea whats in my head. raya is fun but tiring. i think it should stop now, no more raya. im too tired and sick. too many things happening and i can go crazy. i want the time to stop now. i dont want to go back to college. i want it to stop i want to rest. i need it. i wanna cry. i need a good cry. i dont feel so good. everything is just messy. are things worth waiting for? are you worth waiting for? im used to it but im tired of it. in the end you felt like it was worthless it wasnt worth waiting for. its just crap. i gotta stop this, i have to. im not interested. today felt like a mistake maybe because i felt something is missing but it was a good day. but it wasnt all that. no no no no no. omg, too much in my head. i cant get it out. i dont know how to. i dont know. i wanna run away but i know i cant. nothing can help me. i dont want ciggies nor alcohol. maybe i should pray. pray to God and tell Him im sorry. i was stupid and immature. its a messed up world full of messed up humans. The Beatles said Let it be but its easy said than done. action speaks louder than words. sometimes you know you cant get it but you still hope for it and have some faith to it and you still try. you're just too stubborn to believe that you cant get it. your heart said you cant but your head is making you do it. in the end you end up hurting yourself. why? because im stupid. i wanna give up, but i cant. im gonna try. nothing else can stop me except myself. i wanna die i think its much more peaceful. nothing can bother me. but only God can kill me. He knows when im gonna die. so here it is a messy life of a teenage girl. dont know whats going on in my own head and dont know what my heart wants. everything is just wrong and messed up. i dont know what to do or say. stay away from me.i do know but i dont want to believe it. its just wrong. i should stop. make it go away! right now! yeah i smile and i laugh but behing all that there's a hole. something is missing, something is missing. it should stop and go away. far far far away. i stopped smoking, i dont want it anymore. go away. i need everything to go away right now. get out please. im begging you. dont come near me, stay away.

raya photos

okay i have no idea how to spell his name, i know how to pronounce only. hesmond? haha
us being us
im rocking my raya. lol
with mummy.
siblings with the maid. weeee
alissa early birthday cake. i baked it with mum.
with pearly and billy.

family pictures timeeee..

me feeding alissa. haha
with my good looking cousin, mirul. lol.
with my baby cat. cik lat. you're so cuteeeeee..

pictures are not in order btw. haha.

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude." -Denis Waitley.

xo

Raya

selamat hari raya aidilfitri to all Malaysians including the non muslims. =)

had a nice raya celebration today with the familia.

haha xx