Saturday, December 22, 2007

college

well, school's out. like totally out its over for me. no more uniform shits. right now just waiting for the spm results still got like a fucking 2 months plus to wait for it. its kind of suck that we have to wait for so long. there's nothing to do besides wasting time. okay maybe i should go and get a job. nway i got like a college brochure from taylor's just now. it was okay la the college my brother's in it.



but, i want to go to SEGi college but then i have no idea when's the freaking intake and other shits that i want to know. haha. but then i know stuff about taylors college all the things that i need to know lahh.

very the confusing.

sorry ah wrong english and wat so ever its my blog i say watever i want. =)

Friday, December 21, 2007

bored

when you are in a relationship. honesty is the best policy right. but honesty sometimes can hurt too. the most important thing is trust. i am madly in love with this dude wey. abd fariq bin tajudin a.k.a erik. my king and everything. the person i mostly depend on. as he knows a lot of things about me and my freaking life. even if anything did happen between us i will always love you.

i dont understand why is it so hard to compliment you. i mean i want to but it didnt come out from my mouth. only my thoughts and my heart. i find you freakingly good looking and charming. Although sometimes you make me mad and sad. but its okay, in a relationship theres always ups and down right. we deal with it together with our beautiful love.

fyi, you look gorgeous during both prom night. :D i just didnt tell you. so sorry. 'you took my heart away, when my whole world was grey. you gave me everything and i hold you tight'.

okay cun bye.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

friends

what do you now about friends? what is friends? best friends? best friends forever? what is all this shits? ahaa. you may say its easy to explain. your explanation might not be good enough. as u can see in this world is full of assholes and dick heads. your friend end up being your worst enemy. time changes things. i have lots of friends, i'm not making a big deal about it but my point is that eventhough you have lots of friends only several of them are your true friend and the others are just friends nothing more.

in this world sometimes you have to depend on yourself more than your friends. because they have a life too. is hard to find true friends that actually will be there for you when you need them and the ones who always support you and listens to you. is hard to find those kind of people nowdays. but its easy to find selfish and arrogant people. LOL.

girls loves to say bestfriends forever as for me i say fuck it. only at that moment we are bestfriends forever after that we are enemies. you cant even look at each other without yelling or what so ever. for me everyone are hypocrites even me. its true. and everyone have ego, dont say you dont its a lie a, big one. but hey you can learn to control it right.

new friends is only new for a day and after that they are just friends. friends come and ago kind of like money. but you can't buy friends it doesn't work that way.

i have no idea what else to say about friends. my head is not functioning very well right now. i want to write more but i guess no luck for today.

Monday, October 15, 2007

part I

sometimes you wonder too much if they really understands you. sometimes you wonder if you understand them or not. they might think they knows you well enough and they might actually know nothing about you. for some reason nothing is ever enough in life. i see people who already
have enough money and said i dont have enough money, i want more. liek hello if i were you i would be thankful already. if its not enought dont complain. in life shits happens. mostly happens for a reason. if you are not thankful, God would do soemthing to teah you lesson. when you are luck somehow God is trying to tell you that you did something good and you desesrve something to make you happy. sometimes i believe in karma, i have no idea why also. i'm in a relationship and i wonder does he knows me that well. you want that small little thing from him long time ago but you never get it. but you still wait and wait eventhough you have no idea if its going to happen or not. but you never stop hoping.

i waited for you for months and i might had suffer in a stupid way but indeed i survive the long wait for you. along the wait i did made mistake that is hard to be explain. but at that time you weren't mine yet. i didnt lie to you, i just didnt tell you. whats the different between not telling something and not telling the truth? you were really mad at that time, i know you were but heck i told you the truth, i was like a stupid servant like you were my master whom i have to obey each seconds. i could have just kept it quite but because of the love we had i just couldnt help it. i have no idea if u had forgave me or not. but if you did, to forgive is to forget. i have forgiven you about the fact that you had to take care of both heart but i have no idea why my heart and hers is the same. isnt mine should be more important than hers? i had to made you do it. if you truly love me you had done it on our own without being asked. but guess what i had forgiven you because of the greatness of love. i didnt mind waiting for you for months, i could just go off and dated other people but i had made up my mind and chose you.

if you are willing to accept me and wants to be together with me happily you should learn to forgive and to forget. that was the past, its history and history should not be repeated. some things are unexplainable. i seek for your forgiveness day by day for all the wrong doings i had done that had hurt you in any way. people make mistakes and they learn from it. after that very bad incedent i felt like i had lost your trust and it made me feel like a total loser , a person who doesnt deserve you. but instead i push my heart to work on being the very best and become the best lover that you never had. i want to make you happy and i dont care much about how i felt, now its about you.

i know i cant overcome jealousy very well. i'm a girl we are mostly like that but i know we can learn to control it. i'm still working on it to become not the jealous type and be more the open-minded type. but just dont overdo it because some guys are like that. and i dont say all guys are the same. everyone are special in their own way. after all we had been through i'm glad that we are still together. but sometimes is just that you made me feel like you only trust me, 50%. its alright thank God i'm quite a patient person. something i just dislike is just that when you are angry at something i become the ball that you are kicking.

i guess thats all about what i have to say for my first ever blogspot. everything i say here is all reality people. reality is never that pretty.