I watched the bachelor just now. dangg it was good. what an awesomely sweet movie. but a love like love, ps i love you, the lake house, the holiday, the last kiss. still the bomb! hahahaah. oh not forgetting the notebook! dont really like a walk to remember. lol. anyway i really really miss mj. :) its okay. im slowly dealing with the fact that its bloody over. yeah we're FRIENDS (i actually typed friday) haha stupid me. but he need some space. so i shall gave him the space that he needs. i dont want to be the irritating ex girlfriend. i still think about him, duh. I cant cry no more. but still i did cry a little. you know romance movies makes you cry. im a sucker for it i tell you. well the whole point of this blog now is just to say that, i fucking miss him. haha
*okay move on bitch. lol
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
old story.
Blue skies, white clouds, bright sun.
Nice weather for a great day.
But with a confused mind and an uncertain heart,
perhaps it wouldn’t be a great day.
The feelings I used to have, changed.
A sense of freedom suddenly appear
The love will always be there
But I want to cut off the string
I want to be free and not tied into anything.
A young fellow I still am
A lot of experiences need to be learnt
Now is certainly a good time to do it.
Feelings can never been controlled.
*note : this was written ages ago. yeah.
Nice weather for a great day.
But with a confused mind and an uncertain heart,
perhaps it wouldn’t be a great day.
The feelings I used to have, changed.
A sense of freedom suddenly appear
The love will always be there
But I want to cut off the string
I want to be free and not tied into anything.
A young fellow I still am
A lot of experiences need to be learnt
Now is certainly a good time to do it.
Feelings can never been controlled.
*note : this was written ages ago. yeah.
losing
I have lost my touch.
I feel like I’ve totally lost it.
I want to do something,
Something great and special.
I tried and tried
But I couldn’t do it.
Why oh why God.
Give me a reason,
So that I can satisfy myself
I need satisfaction.
Any kind of satisfaction will do.
If you can give me an answer,
that would be great.
I feel like I’ve totally lost it.
I want to do something,
Something great and special.
I tried and tried
But I couldn’t do it.
Why oh why God.
Give me a reason,
So that I can satisfy myself
I need satisfaction.
Any kind of satisfaction will do.
If you can give me an answer,
that would be great.
lala
Hope exist in everyone,
Dreams are everywhere.
Everyone hopes and dreams.
Wanting something great.
We humans are weird,
always wanting something extraordinary.
I admit, I want it too.
But we are never satisfied.
Always want something more
Dude, just deal with it.
This is what we called, Life.
Life is a fucked up journey.
Shit happens.
Dreams are everywhere.
Everyone hopes and dreams.
Wanting something great.
We humans are weird,
always wanting something extraordinary.
I admit, I want it too.
But we are never satisfied.
Always want something more
Dude, just deal with it.
This is what we called, Life.
Life is a fucked up journey.
Shit happens.
fallen
Promise is a big word, a huge one.
Not everyone can keep a promise.
You have promised me.
I believed you.
I fell for you.
Again define love.
What is that?
Do you have a good definition about it?
I don’t and I’m dying to know.
I hate the fact that you didn’t call
And you didn’t bother to do anything
Especially when you say things that I don’t understand
It makes me feel like you don’t even care.
I have fallen for you
Which makes me feel so weak.
I almost felt like dying.
Dying in the inside.
Days have past.
Tears have fallen.
No, I don’t think you care.
If you do, I could have felt it.
I couldn’t think of anything,
Why this have to happened
I can’t even hate nor dislike you
I’m not even sure about my feelings now.
You, I can’t have.
I shall wait for you.
If my pain can be cured,
I’ll try and move on.
If not I’ll just wait and wait.
Not everyone can keep a promise.
You have promised me.
I believed you.
I fell for you.
Again define love.
What is that?
Do you have a good definition about it?
I don’t and I’m dying to know.
I hate the fact that you didn’t call
And you didn’t bother to do anything
Especially when you say things that I don’t understand
It makes me feel like you don’t even care.
I have fallen for you
Which makes me feel so weak.
I almost felt like dying.
Dying in the inside.
Days have past.
Tears have fallen.
No, I don’t think you care.
If you do, I could have felt it.
I couldn’t think of anything,
Why this have to happened
I can’t even hate nor dislike you
I’m not even sure about my feelings now.
You, I can’t have.
I shall wait for you.
If my pain can be cured,
I’ll try and move on.
If not I’ll just wait and wait.
random shit
Define love,
WTF is that man?
I want to know
I need to know.
You damn right I’m desperate.
Desperado, I tell you.
Not everything works out in love ey?
Yeah you’re right
Been there, Heck I tell you,
it hurts. I need some hard shit glue,
to put the pieces of my heart together.
It wouldn’t look as pretty as it used to be.
But its okay, it’s covered,
it’s in the inside, you can’t see it.
Thank God you can’t see it.
Well, we human sure went through
a lot of deep shit ey?
I just realize that I aint the only one
who is going through this kinda shit.
WTF is that man?
I want to know
I need to know.
You damn right I’m desperate.
Desperado, I tell you.
Not everything works out in love ey?
Yeah you’re right
Been there, Heck I tell you,
it hurts. I need some hard shit glue,
to put the pieces of my heart together.
It wouldn’t look as pretty as it used to be.
But its okay, it’s covered,
it’s in the inside, you can’t see it.
Thank God you can’t see it.
Well, we human sure went through
a lot of deep shit ey?
I just realize that I aint the only one
who is going through this kinda shit.
The waiting game
I shall call it the waiting game.
You are the prize of the game.
Bloody hell, I had you as a lover.
But heck it didn’t worked out.
Boo hoo, pity me.
In the game I made a wish,
I shall go through all the life
just to get you back, I tried.
But instead it was only friendship
that I got in returned
I guess it is better than nothing.
It okay, after all it is called 'the waiting game'.
Perhaps I shall wait, the game isn’t over yet.
You are the prize of the game.
Bloody hell, I had you as a lover.
But heck it didn’t worked out.
Boo hoo, pity me.
In the game I made a wish,
I shall go through all the life
just to get you back, I tried.
But instead it was only friendship
that I got in returned
I guess it is better than nothing.
It okay, after all it is called 'the waiting game'.
Perhaps I shall wait, the game isn’t over yet.
=)
Strings were tied into a beautiful ribbon,
A beautiful ribbon that represent Love
But now it is not longer as beautiful.
It has been cut off into two parts.
String A said its not working out.
As string B wandered off wondering why
How can it be?
You’re the one,
who said you were in love with me.
I let you in my life,
You were suppose to add happiness in my life.
Indeed you did but sadly it didn’t last long
You made me happy,
But now I don’t considered myself as happy anymore.
Well like what you said not everything works out, right?
I shall pray for your happiness.
Take care love.
A beautiful ribbon that represent Love
But now it is not longer as beautiful.
It has been cut off into two parts.
String A said its not working out.
As string B wandered off wondering why
How can it be?
You’re the one,
who said you were in love with me.
I let you in my life,
You were suppose to add happiness in my life.
Indeed you did but sadly it didn’t last long
You made me happy,
But now I don’t considered myself as happy anymore.
Well like what you said not everything works out, right?
I shall pray for your happiness.
Take care love.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
mental
GEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMM. I WANNA HIT SOMETHING I DONT KNOW I WANNA DO SOMETHING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!!! I WANNA SHOOT SOMEONE!!! ANYONE, BLOODY HEELLLLL!! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA I JUST WANT TO SAY FUCKK YOUU !@#!$%#^#$^U&&$W#$ **im not sure to who. im just you know geramm. and hi, i havent been blogging for ages! and im back cibai!
Saturday, May 31, 2008
fcked
yooo mannn! It’s been a while since I posted a new blog. It’s been ages! hahaha. So you see I have a sad sad depressing story to tell. So I shall summarize my life first that’s been going on for the past months. Yea I broke up with Erik and met Karamul and it didn’t work out and I got together with a friend, mubin jamil (mj). But err it didn’t work out either. I smell karma for myself.
It all happens on 27th April 2008. Sunday morning like 2am something like that la. it was after Chelsea and Man u's game. Well sadly man u lost but its okay they won the freaking finals! I was depressed already that night because of somebody who didn’t treat me properly. So mj who I used to have a crush on and who is also my friend, we texted each other la. He made me feel better. He was there when I was depressed. He told me he was in love with me and I was the sweetest girl ever. I was err shocked actually I mean come on I didn’t expect that right. I mean its mj, so hard to believe its almost impossible. It happened quite fast also I fell for you. Your vainness, your weirdly adorable personality, your so called ‘hot body’ that I like, your smile that I like seeing and your silliness where you always have something to talk about. I still remember our first kiss. It was on your birthday I came over to your place straight from college. It was fun. At that night you said "I think you're my lucky charm" which totally made my day! Then we went out for our first date. It was fun, I enjoyed it. We watched movie, we had lunch and err you met my mum, my little sis and my cousins. They seem to like you also, I was relieved. That night suddenly you asked me to be your girlfriend and I said yes. I didn’t expect to be at that time but still I said yes. Dude, you caught my heart quite fast. I slept over your place. I met your friends. I love sleeping with you because you hug me while sleeping (aaww). When you hold me, I never felt so safe and so much love. You said to me that you don’t want to let me go. I felt so in love. I do things for you, I don’t care what it takes I just do it, just for you.
Then weeks later, suddenly we're drifting? Like what you said. I tried for us not to drift apart. From my humble opinion you made it this way. I don’t know, im just saying but I don’t blame you. Maybe I did something wrong and I didn’t realize it. You told me we're drifting and this relationship is not a mistake but it might end up to a mistake? I mean WTH? I don’t get what you mean. And you said it’s bad enough already and you don’t want it to get worse? Dude you gotta look at my face right now and see my freaking reaction, WTH? I’m lost here. There’s this one huge question mark on my head. Oh and yeah I need some answers and my question is basically err WHY? A simple question but difficult to answer ey? Its not even a month yet. haha what a short relationship.
I was bloody depress and sad for a week plus. *sorry mi I know you read my book and I spelled it place, I was sad ah that time couldn’t concentrate. LOL. Anyway you have no idea man. I cried, bloody hell I did. I mean I’m a girl of course we cry, its normal. But then I cried a lot like everyday until i couldn’t cry no more got tired of it. But at times I still cry when I see something that reminds me of you. (I miss you). You told me you love me, but do you even care? Things like this had never crossed my mind. And I could never thought about you having another girl. That would be very unlike you. Maybe its just me. I’m sorry, if I said the wrong things to you or hurt your feelings unintentionally. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know why but when I was with you I kinda became a bit paranoid. Hmm. I got drunk because of you man. *but it was fun that night huhu (thanks mi for taking care of me).
I had a wonderful time being with you, thank you so much. Don’t know how to thank you also la. I hope next time you would actually keep your promise, and I never think that you're a fucker. You will always be the sweet fucker that I love. hahaha. You are not a fucker in a bad way baby. I miss seeing you smile =( and I miss playing with your hair. aaaarrgghh your face. sorry a bit psycho here. Anyways I don’t give a damn about whatever anyone want to say about you la, still love you. I again, really miss you. People told me to move on and deal with it. Yeah I know I should and will but it takes time la. I’m just gonna move on when I feel like it, not now maybe later. I will wait for you until this pain is cured. I know I can but I chose not to.
Love you mj darling.
Just want to share these feelings. I can still smile. =) but I haven’t had any awesome time since this shit happened. I miss laughing like some crazy bitch and making stupid jokes. haih. And Mi aka Amira, my best friend for live/forever. Thank you so much okay! Love you always babe.
It all happens on 27th April 2008. Sunday morning like 2am something like that la. it was after Chelsea and Man u's game. Well sadly man u lost but its okay they won the freaking finals! I was depressed already that night because of somebody who didn’t treat me properly. So mj who I used to have a crush on and who is also my friend, we texted each other la. He made me feel better. He was there when I was depressed. He told me he was in love with me and I was the sweetest girl ever. I was err shocked actually I mean come on I didn’t expect that right. I mean its mj, so hard to believe its almost impossible. It happened quite fast also I fell for you. Your vainness, your weirdly adorable personality, your so called ‘hot body’ that I like, your smile that I like seeing and your silliness where you always have something to talk about. I still remember our first kiss. It was on your birthday I came over to your place straight from college. It was fun. At that night you said "I think you're my lucky charm" which totally made my day! Then we went out for our first date. It was fun, I enjoyed it. We watched movie, we had lunch and err you met my mum, my little sis and my cousins. They seem to like you also, I was relieved. That night suddenly you asked me to be your girlfriend and I said yes. I didn’t expect to be at that time but still I said yes. Dude, you caught my heart quite fast. I slept over your place. I met your friends. I love sleeping with you because you hug me while sleeping (aaww). When you hold me, I never felt so safe and so much love. You said to me that you don’t want to let me go. I felt so in love. I do things for you, I don’t care what it takes I just do it, just for you.
Then weeks later, suddenly we're drifting? Like what you said. I tried for us not to drift apart. From my humble opinion you made it this way. I don’t know, im just saying but I don’t blame you. Maybe I did something wrong and I didn’t realize it. You told me we're drifting and this relationship is not a mistake but it might end up to a mistake? I mean WTH? I don’t get what you mean. And you said it’s bad enough already and you don’t want it to get worse? Dude you gotta look at my face right now and see my freaking reaction, WTH? I’m lost here. There’s this one huge question mark on my head. Oh and yeah I need some answers and my question is basically err WHY? A simple question but difficult to answer ey? Its not even a month yet. haha what a short relationship.
I was bloody depress and sad for a week plus. *sorry mi I know you read my book and I spelled it place, I was sad ah that time couldn’t concentrate. LOL. Anyway you have no idea man. I cried, bloody hell I did. I mean I’m a girl of course we cry, its normal. But then I cried a lot like everyday until i couldn’t cry no more got tired of it. But at times I still cry when I see something that reminds me of you. (I miss you). You told me you love me, but do you even care? Things like this had never crossed my mind. And I could never thought about you having another girl. That would be very unlike you. Maybe its just me. I’m sorry, if I said the wrong things to you or hurt your feelings unintentionally. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know why but when I was with you I kinda became a bit paranoid. Hmm. I got drunk because of you man. *but it was fun that night huhu (thanks mi for taking care of me).
I had a wonderful time being with you, thank you so much. Don’t know how to thank you also la. I hope next time you would actually keep your promise, and I never think that you're a fucker. You will always be the sweet fucker that I love. hahaha. You are not a fucker in a bad way baby. I miss seeing you smile =( and I miss playing with your hair. aaaarrgghh your face. sorry a bit psycho here. Anyways I don’t give a damn about whatever anyone want to say about you la, still love you. I again, really miss you. People told me to move on and deal with it. Yeah I know I should and will but it takes time la. I’m just gonna move on when I feel like it, not now maybe later. I will wait for you until this pain is cured. I know I can but I chose not to.
Love you mj darling.
Just want to share these feelings. I can still smile. =) but I haven’t had any awesome time since this shit happened. I miss laughing like some crazy bitch and making stupid jokes. haih. And Mi aka Amira, my best friend for live/forever. Thank you so much okay! Love you always babe.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
