last

im tired and i miss ilyas.. haih. tmrw or in a few mins will be the last day of 2008. im praying and wishing for a better year, so help me God.

x

haih

its happening again. having to see you leave meeeee... gaaahh i miss you already. take care love

loved

ilyas is hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee in KL town!! gaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh im so happy sia. i got what i wanted for christmaaaaasss.. love youuuuuuu =))))) weeeeeeeee.. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! xo

xmas dinner

had dinner with my lovesss so yeah and it was fun. so these are some of the pictures were taken. and last night Mi's party was fun too. talk more later. shittt lazzzyyyy right now. im so tireedd.. im off to bed.

"hold me gently while i fall asleep into your arms."

xx

tmrw is my driving test for the second time. hopefully i'll pass this time. insyaAllah. i really need it so muccchhhh.. heh.

crushed

i've been at home, alot now. im too lazy to go out now. haihh. i havent showered the whole day so sorry for the smell yea. LOL. nways since i failed my course, now im searching for the right course to do, if not i might end up doing the same thing tho. haihhh.. it sucked that my dream is now delayed, okay fine i know it is my fault. but gaaahhhh... now im stuck here for another year. damn it. well im gonna make sure that this time ill succeed and make sure ill get to fulfill my dream! for extra credits maybe i should succeed with flying colours.. =)

on monday i have amiras birthday partyyy.. yeeaayy a party! hahaha.. half of me feels like partying and half of me is just soooo laaazzzyyy. but whatever it is i still have to go ah. she will kill me if i cant make it. haha. might be performing for her party. so hopefully i dont screw up ah. sorry Mi i couldnt get the cake i wanted for you. oh well im sure ur party will be awesome!

last night i was so so sooo lameeee.. i wrote ilyas a letter hehe. 3 pages sia.
i dont know what else to say ah now. so talk more later.
chiow. x

something doesnt feel right.

=(

i miss you so much right now

Darling, I need you desperately, desperately here

I'll find a way, a way, a way to see you again

<3

new

cant wait for a new year. new beginning, new chapter. a fresh clean start for me. i can still have my dream to come true. i've got to work even harder than before.

current mood: depress, sad, lonely, disappointed, quiet, lost.

x

failed

i failed everything. i suck. fuck sia. i've no words to say now. i guess i've failed my dad.

Mi's bday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TUNKU AMIRA ZAHRA. MY GREATEST AND LONGEST AND AWESOME BESTFRIEND FOR LIFE MAN!!! HEHE LOVE YOU FOREVER SKINNY BITCHHH...

later

im tired, i dont have the mood to blog right now. buttt ill summarize things that happened and going to happen. Mi's prom was great, my date alissa looks gorgeous. got free drinks. i got my hair done today with Mi and her mum. tmrw going janda baik. i have 5 hours of driving on sunday and driving test on mondaaayyy.. and i miss ilyass like crazy crazzzzzzzyyyyyyyyyy... so yeah. ill spill other details when im in the mood yeah.

xo

kinda excited lol

yooooooooooooooooooooo.. tmrw is amira's prom. woohhhooo and my date is jeng jeng jeng my beautiful cousin, alissa. yeay! ilyas dont worryy.. weeeee =D and and im hoping for fun tmrw, like SERIOUSLY. i need fun... hopefully we'll be going drinkinggg.. wuhhhuuuu... lets go mabuk mabuk... haha we're gonna stay over at the hotel but sadly alissa cant join us, grrr.. so yeaaahhh.. talk to you the day after tmrw bloggieeeee.. love you ilyaasssss.. hehehehhehehehehhee....

night flowers. x

im bored and im alone at home. gaaaaaaaaaaahhhh fucking take me out sia... btw i feel lonely, damn i miss you. heh..

cibai motherfucker

fuckyou you fucking horny bastard with your stupid fucking ugly maggi fucking hair. fuuuuckyoouuuuu calling me bodoh and babi. you fucking perverted motherfucker. gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh, im fucking pissed now. fuckfuckfuckfuckkkk youuuuuuuuuuuuuu laaa cibaiiii.. thank you God cause he's gonna leave this country soon. get the fuck out of this country you freaking ugly blonde fucker. you aint getting any from me suddenly you just fucking pissed, dream on you motherfucker i aint giving you la you bastard. im no fucking whore to just simply fuck youuuu, reality check la idiot.. you want to fuck go find some fucking prostitutes kaaayyyyyy... and pukimak kauuu laaaaaaaaaaa..... grrrr....

yes yes i know there's a lot of fuck in it but im just gaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh fucking mad sial. he says bad names to me in malay and i cant seem to reply him back in any malay bad words. hahahaha. cibai

flowers

sooooo here are the two not very nice painting i made. hahahahaha..

he likes sunflower. tapi macam tak jadi jee.. haha

and i like white lily. weeeeee

shit bored

im shit bored sial. gaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh, kill me already. woke up like at arnd 1pm or so.. then ate lunch and watched entourage, at the same time was texting ilyas. i just love to include ilyas in my daily activities, it makes me feel better you know.. then nway i did like two paintings. haha something made me feel like painting and i did haha. 2 flowers.. its not that good anyway. i just love doing it sometimes. i like to think while i paint, lol. will show it later. btw actually i suck with art. haha then my cousins came, to pick up clothes. it was nice seeing them. got gossip girls episodes from my cousin, wuhhuu thank youuu kak lyn! after they left, i just cleaned up some clothes in my room and watched a bit tv. then i finally finish watching garden state. its actually a movie. hahaha everytime i wanna watch it i got sleepy so i always watch it half way. i cant even recall whether i've actually seen the whole thing even once. i cant freaking remember sia. *spending alot of times with ilyas made me say the word sia alot nowadays. hahaha.. and then im here, now blogging about what a shitty day i had. did i mention i purposely put a green paint on my kitten's head. hehe sorry it was for fun. will wipe it off the next time im gonna give you a bath you little brat. and i havent showered the whole daaayyyy... was freaking shit lazy. so yeah. ill take a shower tomorrow since tomorrow gotta go for raya prayers. i might skip it, somehow. damn lazyyyy.. hope not many people gonna come tomorrow. too lazy to entertain anyone. hopefully nobody comes la, easier. hehh... and again im shittttt borrreeedddd laaaaa...

oh and last night i slept like at arnd 5am plus was reading a walk to remember again haha. finished it and made me cry. gaaaahhhh romance.. nways it was beautifully written. what a marvelous job he had done. hehh...

goddddddddd... i wanna see him. gaahhhh...

you know you love me, xoxo. haha

chiow bitches.

just sayingg

gently take my hand as we walk in our garden
lying down together on the grass as our heart beats
our heart beat created a rhythm
and i called the rhythm our love story

i want to paint our love red and orange
as it is among the brightest colors
i want to plant sunflowers and lilies
therefore when it bloom our love shall bloom together.

im lameeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.... hahahaha. i like youuuuuuuu allootttttttt.. =)=)))))))

sushi

what a boring saturday i had. woke up at around 10am and what expcting nasi lemak from mum but she only got me my favourite kuih. so i was being all spoilt, she gave me money and i bought myself breakfast. roti planta. (thanks to Mi, she introduced it to me) haha. then i just watched friends on starworld. was texting ilyas at the same time. then went onlineee, chat with ilyas and watched my blueberry nights again... good movie.. then i switched place to online because abang azri wants to use the computer so went down and used abg hafiz's computer. soo i watch entourage... and at the same time chat with ilyas abit. hehe... then abg hafiz came i have to use the laptop. haha... then i took a nap, i dreamnt about sushi.. and about keyna also.. i miss you babe! after i woke up i quickly called daddy cause suddenly i was craving for sushi... sooo we went sushi king for dinner.. damn it, it was good.. still got the walfer ice cream in the freezer. will eat you later. haha.. and now im in my room blogging about my uninteresting daayyyy... oh oh during the day mum and fauza went to aunty su's stuff and took some clothes there, actually kinda alot. hahaha. got some nice tops, so i took some. hahaha. i need a bigger closet. gaaaahhh clothesss....

gaaahh i miss you shorty. although you're taller now, still gonna call you shorty cause thats how i remember you. hehe

“A part of you has grown in me. And so you see, it's you and me together forever and never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart.”

out of words

fell asleep after so much tears. woke up with fugly eyes. haha. oh well story of my life right. had a really nice time with you for the past three days. sure as hell im gonna miss you every fucking day. your hands we're nice to be held. God i miss you so much right now. =( i didnt feel like waking up today but gaahh i had to later mum will go all bitchy to me and shit, so yeah. i practically didnt do anything much today. tv eat oth online and got so bored went to alissa's place and just lepak there, eat goreng pisang haha. dont really know what to say right now, im out of words sial. goddd im so bored and at the same time im just shit lazy. oh and ilyas all the songs in my myspace profile i dedicate it all to you. was kinda emo just now. heh. i dont feel like going out because some stupid fuck yesterday wanted to taste my ice cream, freaking cibai. "Mi kinda forget about me at that moment" =) haha. after that happen i just threw my ice cream in the bin. idiot, i felt so disgusted. i think i need some drinks, to clear this empty space. but im not plannng to get drunk tho. just a few drinks. haihh...

im currently recycling my book, soooo im reading a walk to remember again. that reminds me i need more nice movies to downloadddd... any recommendations? and i wanna download 90210 since i always missed it. gaahh.. i might gonna disappear for a while but i'll be blogging for sure laaaa..... i need to get a job, i need to pay back my debts to amira. rm300 nowww.. gaaahhhh...

falling for you was the last thing i wish to happen, but shit it wasnt the last thing that happened. the last thing that happened was seeing you leave, making me cry to sleep. i wish i could fly, therefore i could just fly to you everytime we need each other. just dont say goodbye, i hate goodbyes. make me believe that i will see you again. when i close my eyes i see you, but thats not what i want. i want to see you everytime i open my eyes. i might just fall the next time i see you, so be ready catch me when i fall. i need you to hold me tight and tell me that i will always have you. kiss me and tell me that you care for me. i dont believe in forever but if takes forever to be with you i'll wait for you forever.

"how does love change a person?
continuesly, foolishly, endlessly... "

sweetdreams dreamers, xo.

gift

like i said i'll upload the pics of the present i made for ilyas, jeng jeng jeng. and this was my christmas present to him.. i only painted black, gahahaha and i painted the word i miss you.. which i do, so much right now. hope you really like it lah. weeeee... all i want for christmas is still youu and i will definitely be the happiest freak in the whole entire world. haha. i just love christmas. the movies, the songs, makes me happy hehe. cant wait for christmas dinner with Mi and Alissa!

held

had an evening with you.

love

=)

triple

had a triple date. hahha Me Ilyas, Mi Talib, Alissa Aiman. had a good time. we watched twilight and ate at tgi fridays. haha. what a funny day lah. i got to see ilyaaaassss.. finally!! miss you like crazy. kinda lazy to add other infos so yeah. later later la kay..

i want the time to stop forever so you dont have to go. =(

hidden kitty

baby so cuteeeeeee.. weeeeeee.... love youuuu fatty spoil lazy ass baby cat. gaaahhh im just sooo geram! sh's freeeaaaakkiiinnggggggggg adorable....